Yesterday was a crazy day! It was very emotionally draining. I'm still recovering.

Tuesday night my husband and I practiced giving shots to an orange. That was very stressful for him, and therefore somewhat stressful for me. He had an interview scheduled for Wednesday morning, and neither of us slept well. Wednesday morning, I had a crazy day at work. A 2 hour meeting was scheduled from 9-11 to plan for a new computer we're getting, the vendors were here 30 minutes early, my co-worker was not in yet, and we had system trouble. The director wanted to do the switch on Sunday morning, Mother's Day, but I talked him out of that. One piece of software that is crucial has to be upgraded, but I thought the vendor was providing that -- I have to do it. Normally we freeze software changes for 2-4 weeks before this big of a change, but I have 7 "working days" and the tape with the software upgrade isn't here yet.

The meeting went long, I had to have a separate extra discussion with the vendor about the software, then rush off to grab lunch on the way to my RE's office for the IVF class. I know people are nervous about it so they ask a lot of questions, but they guy sitting next to me had not read the handbook or watched the video, and one gal on the other side of the room asked the same question several times after it had been answered quite clearly from my perspective.

My patience is short and I'm physically and emotionally drained.

Oh, and we got our estimated cost: $7000, not counting meds, which are expected to be $2500-3000 since I will be on the "long protocol" (whatever that means). And our insurance doesn't cover any of this (except the Hepatitus and HIV tests, and probably the antibiotics and maybe the birth control pills).

We question whether trying to have a baby is worth all of the emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and financial strain. We have a hard time reconciling trusting God to give us children if it is what God wants, and doing all that we can to help ourselves with the medical information and technology that humans understand.