With this coming Sunday being Mother's Day, one of my email lists received this post from me:

Last year Mother's Day was SO HARD for me! My mom died almost 3 years ago. The first Mother's Day without her I spent with my Dad I think and also went out to the cemetery; I don't remember it being too tough; I guess I was still in shock mode a bit since it was the first one without her.

Last year, I was just starting IF treatment, and my (younger) sister was about 4 months PG (after a MC). I had the overwhelming feeling of loss, both of my mom and of not becoming a mother. I quietly bawled my eyes out right in church. Fortunately people thought I was crying over Mom (which I was), so they didn't ask questions that I didn't want to answer.

This year I don't know what will happen, but I plan to be with my Dad for a short time that day after church, but mostly alone with DH. I have a darling niece, whom I got to see being born, and I love her and my sis and BIL dearly. I started to write up her birthstory for my sister right after her birth, but never finished it. I want to give it to her Sunday, but I don't think I will get it done -- unless I work on it a lot on Saturday.

Doing that will either help me cope or will be very hard to do.