I signed up for the IVF Finance program today. The nice thing about it is that if you don't take out a loan, you can get your membership fee refunded. But even without using the loan, there are other benefits, so I might stay with it later anyway. I did finally find something about the rates -- "Our plan offers unsecured financing up to $25,000 at rates as low as 12.99% (when credit allows)." I was hoping that the rates would be much better than that. We are considering using savings for most of it, but I would rather not deplete our savings for this if possible and if the loan rates are low.

My husband and I have been talking about IVF a lot lately (okay, not a lot, but we have been talking about it). One of the topics that comes up is the cost. My RE's office literature says that they require payment prior to starting treatment. I find this interesting since I have never had any other medical service that required up front (before the service) payment, but then again, my insurance usually covers everything except a small co-pay.

The 60 page booklet of information and instructions mentions Medical Business Solutions, Inc. as a source of financing. Since I had never heard of them, I did a web search and found this article using Google. (Lycos didn't find anything relevant, by the way.) From there I also found this series of articles about financing infertility treatment in general.

I've looked the site over a little; here is a link to the company. The web site talks about membership in the IVF Finance and Support Membership Plan. The memberships gets you benefits such as application for an unsecured loan, discounts on meds, and refund of the membership fee if the loan is not approved. The only thing missing from the web page is what the loan rate will be, but since IVF Finance is not the lender, I guess that will vary depending on your credit rating.

Today is cycle Day 1 and we start it all over again.

Same song, next verse...

Actually this month will be the refrain between verses 4 and 5. Because of the timing of starting the IVF cycle that will finish up in July, my RE's office is recommending that we not do any treatment this cycle. We might be able to squeeze another COH cycle in, but if I have cysts or my cycle goes long, then I would miss the beginning window for the IVF cycle coming up.

Fertility treatment can be a lot like this poem. (Thanks to Marna from AdvancedFertility@yahoogroups.com>

A HOLE IN THE SIDEWALK

CHAPTER 1
I'm walking down the street, and there's a hole in the sidewalk.
I don't see the hole, so I fall in.
It takes me a long time and hard work,
but eventually I get out of the hole.

CHAPTER 2
I'm walking down he street, and there's a hole in the sidewalk.
I see the hole, but I fall in anyway.
It takes me a long time and a lot of hard work,
but I've been here before, and eventually I get out.

CHAPTER 3
I'm walking down the street, and there's a hole in the sidewalk.
I see the hole, but I figure I can safely go around it.
I try. I fall in.
It takes me some time and some effort.
But I've been here before, and I know how to get out, and I do get out.

CHAPTER 4
I'm walking down the street, and there's a hole in the sidewalk.
I see the hole, and I don't want to fall in.
I cross the street.
But then I see some people I know back on the other side, an I decide to join them.
I fall into the hole.
I'm tired of this. I waste no time getting out of the hole.

CHAPTER 5
I'm walking down the street, and there's a hole in the sidewalk.
I see the hole.
I stop.
I walk down another street.

Today is cycle day 30 and I'm not pregnant.

I was trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm still pretty disappointed. The next step is likely to be very high-tech, high-dollar, and highly medicated, so I'm not really looking forward to it. Even though "money is not an issue," $6-10 grand is quite a lot for 40% odds.

At least this month I am not dreading my period starting like I have been the past 2 years or so. This time I'm waiting so I can start planning and scheduling the next month's treatment. My RE's office will be starting people on IVF prep with their May cycles, but since mine will be at the very beginning or the very end, I'm not sure yet when I will start the prep stuff. We are going to IVF class next Wednesday, so I'll find out then if I haven't gotten a good answer before then.

This really stinks. I just wrote a blog entry, and clicked post, and it is gone. I didn't worry about copying it to my clipboard because it didn't seem over 600 words. Ev's note on the Blogger home page made me think it was safe. Hrrmph.

I tried to switch to geocities as my host last week so I would have more flexibility with files and pages, but with all of the trouble I have been having publishing, and all stuff I have read about other people having trouble with geocities and blogger not playing nice, I think I'll just stay on blogspot. Maybe I wouldn't have lost the blog entry that I wrote earlier tonight.

Waiting and waiting... I test on Wednesday.

Today has been better, I've been in a good mood pretty much all day. I'm getting used to the progesterone capsules, too.

I've learned a lot about infertility from reading on the web. Here is one of the sites that I have found to be the most educational.

Yesterday ended up being better than it started. I did get to have dinner with my husband after all (even though it was at a fast food joint), and the group that I spent the evening with did remember it was my birthday and sang to me and had cookies as a treat in my honor. I was expecting them to forget, and I was expecting to not be able to eat dinner with my husband because of needing to go to that meeting.

When I got home, my husband had a present for me, too! The moodiness can be attributed to my meds, right? Do the raging hormones ever subside?

Today is my birthday, and it's pretty much a downer. I am 37. Last summer I set a "deadline" of today to be pregnant or stop treatments and stop trying (temps, calendar, etc. -- but not stop sex, of course). As the fertility treatment has progressed, I have revised the "deadline" to be having a due date by my next birthday. That will give us time for 1 IVF attempt this summer. (My RE does IVF cycles in bunches every 2-3 months, not constantly ongoing.)

When my mom turned 37, she had 3 children and the 4th on the way. If she knew about the 4th one, it was very new news. She told me once that it was harder having kids when you are older -- both physically and emotionally. I wish she was still around so we could talk about it and I could cry on her shoulder.

I just got back from my 6 month old niece's photo shoot. Afterwards I carried her around while her mom was paying for the pictures. My niece fell asleep on my shoulder. I am SO READY to have a baby!

I know that some people who are struggling with infertility have a difficult time being around other people's babies. I'm lucky that I haven't had that problem yet.

After reading this gal's diary I'm not so resentful of the progesterone capsules I stick inside me 3 times a day. At least it's not shots every day for 2 weeks.

I realized last night that these 2 weeks of waiting are going to go very slowly. The constant wet feeling that I have from the progesterone is getting old already.

Now we wait -- today is cycle day 16.

Tuesday's IUI went fine. The sperm counts were the highest that I remember. They're still below normal, but 7 times as many as last time, with a high percentage motility, too. More sperm and more eggs... means a better chance this time!

From now until "17 days after the hCG shot", more commonly known as Wednesday April 25, I will be using Prometrium to help the endometrium lining become and stay a good place for the egg to implant & grow. Prometrium is a capsule with the hormone progesterone that is a vaginal suppository.

I try not to obess about it, but it's hard not to with a reminder 3 times a day. I was warned that one of the side effects is an oily discharge. I call it more like slimy. Either way, that's going to be hard to ignore for the next 2 weeks also.

Today is cycle day 14 The big gap between entries is because I had trouble getting to Blogger because I couldn't remember by userid. Oops.

This afternoon I will have another IUI. This one ought to have several eggs as targets for my husband's sperm, instead of just one. I took Follistim (a brand of FSH) shots twice last week. Then on Saturday I had and ultrasound and blood work to see how the follicles were maturing. One of the follicles was at 18mm (average diameter) and a couple of other were smaller but still getting close to the right size. I was told to give one more Follistim shot that day, then to take an hCG shot Monday morning at 1:30am. The hCG triggers ovulation after the ovaries have been hyperstimulated by the FSH to create more follicles. The hCG shot has to be 36 hours before the IUI, and since my IUI appointment is in the afternoon, my shot was in the middle of the night.

I was pretty nervous about the first shot -- I've never given myself a shot before. They shots were subcutaneous (under the skin, into the fatty tissue), so a very short needle was used. The mixing and preparation part was fine, just like high school chemistry. :-) The poke was hardly noticable, but it was harder to push the plunger in to inject the liquid than I thought it would be. The area was a little uncomfortable for a few minutes, but it was not bad at all. The second one was easier because I wasn't nervous about giving it, just about having someone walk in on me (I was away from home).